Sunday, September 25, 2011

What part of the fast lane don't you understand?

      You know who I'm talking about, that little blue Honda that zipped across all four lanes of the freeway to get themselves right in front of you, and then slow down to 60 miles an hour.  Wouldn't be so bad if you weren't already flying at nearly 75mph.  Now you have to slam on your breaks to avoid tearing off the Honda's bumper as they nearly clip your vehicle.  As the Honda driver waves at you and you resist the urge (or not) to flip her off, you notice that not only is she talking on her cell phone, but the blinker that she only turned on AFTER she changed lanes remains on.

      This is usually the point when I let loose with a string of foul language that would make a salty old sailor blush.  I'm not kidding.  I really do understand road rage at moments like this, but in all actuality we blame the wrong person.  Maybe we shouldn't be hollering at the Honda driver or those just like her, but maybe we should go after the driving instructor/DMV employee that gave this twit the license in the first place!

       Think about it for just a moment.  Teachers are being held accountable when their students don't pass the state mandated tests.  Why shouldn't these driving instructors be called to the carpet for not teaching these people the proper rules of the road?  Some of these new driver's had to pay for their driving school, so why were they not given the proper skills?  Yes it is true that some of these people may have done really well for their tests and then fucked up down the line.  Now it's the time to pay the piper then.  Time to have another refresher course, behind the wheel, in inclement weather, in the city and on the highways. 

      Wouldn't it be great if people learned that yes you do have to pull over and out of the way of emergency vehicles if they are behind you with their lights flashing.  Just because you are driving a Lexus in the fast lane does not mean that the fire truck behind you has to pass your ass on the shoulder.  Putting your blinker on AFTER you have completed the lane change doesn't help make the driver you cut off any less pissed at you.  Merging traffic is supposed to get up to speed of the highway/road that they are entering, NOT staying at 35 mph for another three miles when the speed limit is 65mph.  Rain is not an excuse to go 85 in a 55 zone and then slam on your brakes to not miss your exit.  A red light means STOP.  It does not mean that three more cars can go through the intersection. 

      It is NOT an unwritten rule that you can come up behind someone and flash your brights and they have to get out of your way.  Don't fucking switch lanes just to get behind me in the fast lane and start flashing your lights at me if you are not a member of law enforcement, the fire department or an ambulance.  If you do, you will just make me slam on my breaks so that your nice new Lexus is now a compact car.

      Driving too fast for conditions doesn't necessarily mean that you are speeding.  You lose control of your car and you are driving too fast for conditions plain and simple.  I will be the one waving at you as the highway patrol officer is giving you that ticket!

      When there are signs that a lane will be closed ahead, it will be closed and you have to merge BEFORE you are right on top of the flashing arrow sign that is closing off the lane.  Move your ass over before you get to that point or you will just have to accept that the other drivers do NOT have to let you in.  And just because you are pushing your way over into my passenger door, will not make me or anyone be able to get out of the way faster.      

And for that lady driving the Honda, the signs that say slower traffic keep RIGHT means YOU!  And yes I know you are the very same person who flew past me on the two lane road close to my house so you can then cut me off to make a right turn.   Karma will get you one day, my friend.  I'm thinking that one or both of your teenagers are old enough to drive soon.  Better stock up on those Depends!

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