Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Hello all. I'm here this week to talk about something that's pretty much an ongoing issue in the publishing world as well as every day life. Every time we turn around there are stories in the news about kids taking their lives because of nonstop mean, cruel harassment from their classmates. These evil twits use the social media, texts, and phone calls to mercilessly rip another human being to shreds.
Why? Because they feel like it. We can say all we want that the "bullies" have issues with their own self esteem but truth of the matter is these people are just plain mean. They thrive on bringing others down. Our society gives them the attention they crave when they do this crap and reinforces their shitty behavior.
True bullying is rampant in the publishing world too—from authors attacking fellow authors who they feel are "competition" to authors attacking reviewers for daring to not LOVE their books to "reviewers" making it their life mission to shred an author to confetti because they can. It's consuming every inch of the world wide web and you would think there couldn't possibly be room for any more...
Now the folks who were bullies before are claiming to be victims now. Every real or imagined slight is now being labeled as an attack by "jealous bullies." Instead of talking it out, insults and threats are tossed out so others can join in on the feeding frenzy. It's damn easy hiding behind a computer screen and attacking a stranger. You can bet your sweet behind the same thing wouldn't happen if the people were face to face.
It's time to take back our power. The lies and half truths being tossed out there don't have to mean squat and they don't have any power over their target/victim if they don't let them. Yes, that's a hell of a lot easier said than done, but shut off the cell phones, shut off the computer, don't get dragged into commenting on "bad" reviews or posts on social media. Don't get into Twitter wars. Just let it all go.
Only YOU have the power to make it stop. When you publish a book, you have to accept the fact not everyone will adore your work. You are not the Universe's Gift to literature for every man, woman, and child. You may very well be that for some. Celebrate those victories and keep moving on.
Mistakes are made by EVERYONE every single day, sometimes repeatedly. Hell, I'm in that category at least twice a week myself. I can choose to wallow in it, or learn from my mistakes and become a better veterinarian, author, poet, publisher and cover artist. I can become the person I want to be: kind, caring, smart, witty, strong and loving. I'm far from all of that on most days but I'll be damned if I'll stop trying to get there.
True bullying is horrible. Labeling every little slight as a form of bullying is over the top. Shit happens and sometimes there isn't someone out there pulling the strings to make your life miserable. If you are someone who is the victim of bullying, or you think you are definitely TELL SOMEONE. At the very least, talking about it could give you the support you need to find your way out of the dark. You don't need to suffer in silence.
For those real bullies who are now getting a taste of their own "medicine"...
Damn. I really want to say "serves you right!"
Unfortunately that would bring me down to their level. I have to fight with this every day. As a Wiccan, I strive to "above all do no harm." If I take pleasure in the fall of a bully, I'd be adding to another's pain. It's a horrible dilemma but I can choose not to go down that path.
I think I'll just let Karma figure it all out...
#KIBJ (you'll find out what this hashtag means soon!)
Until next time, lovelies!
~The Fat Chick