Friday, April 29, 2016
I've had more than a few people ask me if I'm freaked out about turning fifty later this year. They're always shocked to hear my answer...
I. Can't. WAIT!!!!
For me, turning fifty is a huge milestone to be celebrated and not feared. While there are some things I would have done differently in my life, I wouldn't change the overall outcome. My experiences shaped who I am today. Literally and figuratively.
The heartache and pain I've lived through has made me a stronger woman, one who doesn't take anyone's shit. On the other hand, those same experiences have created walls around me. I don't trust people easily. Not anymore. I've found myself in situations where I've placed my love and trust in people who used me for their own gain. They took what I was more than willing to give to them and left me in the cold.
As a result, I no longer take someone at face value. I don't open up or let anyone into my inner circle right off the bat. They have to earn it. Sorry if that offends anyone, but when you get stomped on, lied to and lied about it's a necessary evil.
At fifty years old, I can finally get around those questions about having kids. I wasn't able to get pregnant after YEARS of trying with my first husband. He refused to go to the doctor to see if he was the problem. It was just one of many things that ended the marriage but another lesson learned on my part.
My current husband is my soul mate. Together we learned having children isn't in the cards for us and we've accepted it. We've talked about adoption but when we looked long and hard at our lives, TOGETHER we decided we don't wish to have children. Now that I'm approaching fifty, I won't have to deal with those who feel I'm being selfish for not having kids. I don't have to deal with the women who pity me for not being able to experience the joy of carrying my own child. At this age, if I were to get pregnant I could put my life and that of my unborn child in danger. Sorry, but going through a high risk pregnancy just so I can join the parenthood club would be the ultimate selfish act.
I'm in the stage of my life where I can be selfish in other areas. I've worked hard in my career as a veterinarian and now as an author, poet and publisher. This is the time of my life where all the hard work is beginning to pay off.
This is the time where I'm once again taking charge of my health—a never-ending quest to lose weight, keep my diabetes under control, and enjoy all life has to offer. At forty-nine going on fifty, I've actually paid my dues and EARNED the right to slow down and enjoy my life.
Turning fifty will be the celebration to kick off the next phase of my professional and personal lives. Veterinary medicine will take the back seat to my writing. Both will stand in line behind my plans to see more of this country. There is so much I want to experience and it's all out there. All I have to do is take the leap of faith and have a ball!
Follow your dreams!
~The Fat Chick