Now that I have my first book published, I have seen a lot of posting in the author and reader groups about what people prefer to write and read themselves. One answer that sort of put a bee in my bonnet was that he preferred the more sweet romances over the erotic stuff because he has "a real problem with the lack of emotions, tenderness, desires, and mental responses in most erotica." Well, I would beg to differ. The best erotica includes all of those things, just super hot, steamy EXPLICIT love scenes. The language that I use when I write those scenes is how I talk. Sure I have what some would call a "potty" mouth, but that is my reality, and that is how I write. Whether you want to admit it or not, that language appeals to a lot of people out there, especially women.
I totally agree that form of writing is not for everyone. Some people prefer it without the emotions and desires...that is what I would call porn. Erotica is NOT porn. I wish people would recognize the difference. For me, mainstream romances have some steamy scenes, but it uses more flowery language to describe body parts and what each person in the scene is feeling inside and out. For example, you can write a scene about someone losing their virginity and use terms such as "deflowered" or "crossed into womanhood" when you are being on the sweet side. On the more erotic side you could say anything from "unlocked her pleasure vault" to "popped her cherry." Porn on the other hand will just basically have a sex scene with all the explicit words: wham, bam, thank you ma'am. No tenderness, no buildup, just drop your clothes and fuck. Plain and simple. No thrills, no frills, just two bodies slamming into each other until one or both gets off. Sort of boring if you ask me!
I remember when I was a teenager and reading romance novels that described sex between the hero and heroine usually as the first time for the woman and of course she falls madly in love with him and they are together for the rest of their lives. Well, most romances in real life don't work out that way and maybe that's why I loved reading those at the time. Now, having lived through enough broken hearts and shed enough tears over my own love life, I want the hot passion that erotica can bring to me. Whether it's fantasy, paranormal, contemporary, male/female, menage and more, I want to read it all and get lost in my own fantasy world for a bit. Maybe, just maybe I will take some of that hot passion and share it with my life partner who is every bit the sexy hero I write and read about.
Erotica can enhance your own sex life and sexual experiences. I don't feel that it degrades women or treats them as sex objects. The heroines in erotic romances are strong, independent women who discover they have needs and desires just as powerful as men. These women go out to get what they want and the men(or women!) that can help them fulfill their fantasies. Oh and lets not forget the other genres that include male/male, female/female, and menage and more stories. There is something for everyone in the erotic romances. Go out and read some for yourself and let your imagination run wild!