Welcome to another installment in the ongoing saga that is my life as a forty something fat chick. That's right. I'm The Fat Chick and today it's confession time. With all I have going on in my life, I now find myself at a crossroads and unsure of where to go.
I take that back. I do know where I want to go and where I need to go with my life and my career as an author, publisher and retiring veterinarian. It's the sheer number of things on my "to do" list that's holding me back. I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the last six months or so, trying to take care of four pen names and everything that goes with them, work over forty hours a week as a veterinarian in a very demanding pet hospital, take care of my household, two cats and hubby and get myself on a healthier track.
I'm failing at all of it.
I'm sure you all figured out I didn't write this post early enough to go out early in the morning. Instead we all meet here late at night after I got home from a ten hour shift at the vet hospital. I took last night off for some "me" time and much needed sleep. It was hard but I managed to stay completely off my computer. I didn't blog, tweet, share the posts on Triberr, or do any promotions for the books I have out now.
I feel guilty about it too. I know I shouldn't, but I do. That's the problem. I have to let that go and concentrate on ME now. All the good progress I made in the control of my diabetes, weight loss and blood pressure are being erased by my bad habits now. Enough is enough.
I'm taking the bull by the horns again and re-evaluating my priorities. Two of my pen names will have to go on "vacation" while I work with the other two to get out the summer anthology. That means some of the fans of the Bigfoot erotica written by Tawny Savage will be disappointed to have to wait another two months for her next novella—but so be it. I can't put my best work out there if I have nothing left to give.
While I love to write these posts each week, I may have to skip one or move it to another day. I can no longer commit myself to projects just for the idea of getting my brand out there, when in fact I can't give any more of myself. If I can't give my all to a project, it's not fair to the others involved nor to myself. I want nothing more than to succeed in this, but the direction I'm going right now is not the way.
Look for the new me over the next month. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can get accomplished now that I've given myself permission to just say NO.
Until next time,
~The Fat Chick