The #FatChick Discovers Another Cousin of The Seven Witches of Menopause—Insomnia #aging #MyWANA

It's Tuesday once again and time for some sharing from this forty something year old fat chick. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm "The Fat Chick" and this is my chance to share with you the craziness that is my life now that I'm in my late forties.

I'm not one of those broads who's constantly worried about getting older. In fact, I WELCOME it. I don't always enjoy what I have to go through during this stage of my life, but all of it is a part of me and my life journey. Of course it's all fodder for my books and my blogs. LOL!

Well, fodder isn't quite the right word here...fair game is more like it. ;) I mean that. I don't have a lot of secrets in my life anymore. I've exposed most of them through my characters in the books I write as myself or my alter egos Lia Michaels, Stephanie Ryan, and Tawny Savage. The raw emotions and their life challenges have all been what I've lived through. Through them, I've worked through my various issues, one at a time. It's the best form of therapy for me. 

However, there's one thing plaguing me as of late. I didn't think I'd have to deal with this since I've been battling Sleepy Witch of Menopause off and on for some time. Unfortunately, she's taken a backseat to her older cousin, Insomnia. 

It's become so bad lately, I'm finding myself losing track of what I'm doing during the day. Without enough full, deep sleep, I just appear to go through the motions. I can't think, my words jumble, and I can't follow conversations going on around me. This is no good when you're trying to pull information out of a tight-lipped pet owner about what's going on with their animal.

Normally my mind is going around four or five sentences faster than my mouth, but not when Insomnia comes calling. That witch turns my brain to mush and I can't remember what happened five minutes ago let alone five days ago. This is the most frustrating feeling for me. I used to pride myself on being able to multitask and zip through my day. Now I'm lucky to make it through my shift at the veterinary hospital and get through everything on my to do list.

I'm not sure why this is happening to me. I've been working on my diet and weight loss program. My blood sugar is fairly well regulated. I drink my water throughout the day and only have caffeine once or twice a week and that's early in the day. So why am I being plagued with sleepless days and nights? 

Insomnia is even interfering with my nap time folks! Something has to be done and fast! LOL

Seriously, the more I look at my life, the more I realize I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure and stress. My husband is retiring from the Coast Guard at the end of the summer and we're moving to another state. A new life, new job, new everything is in front of me and I'm scared shitless. 

I've moved and changed jobs before, but at this point in my life, I'm worried that I can't cut it. I'm not digging being a veterinarian anymore but it's all I've done for the last twenty-one years. It's what I've worked for my entire life from the age of nine up until now. I've reached the point where I've accomplished all I'm going to in this profession. I want more from life than being an old woman shuffling to work every day to poke and prod my patients. 

It's time I moved out of the way and let the young whipper snappers waiting in the wings take over. They've watched me and learned what they need to in order to make the job their own. It's time I let them do it. That's the part that scares me. What if I didn't teach them enough for them to survive? What if I let them down and they fail?

All of these thoughts and questions run through my brain each and every night along with my publishing deadlines, finding new ways to promote my books, make new connections and friends and help them promote their work...

It never ends. I have to find another way to divert my mind and body from obsessing over all of this. Life will go forward no matter what I do or freak out over. It's time I accept that, and roll with the punches. Until I do, I'll just keep awake for as long as I can, just like the kids in those Freddy Krueger movies. The song in the video below always reminds me of those movies and it's pretty spot on for how I'm feeling right now. 

Enjoy!
Until next time,
~The Fat Chick

The #FatChick Smashes A Common Myth About Women Over Forty #aging #libido #MyWANA

Welcome to the Memoirs of this Forty Something Fat Chick here at Not Enough Time in the Day. This week I'd like to address the commonly held notion that once a broad hits the big FOUR OH, her sex drive runs for the hills, never to be seen again.

If you believe that bad boy, you're just asking for a smack in the face ala Cher in Moonstruck.

Personally, I think this particular myth was started by a group of men that wanted to keep control of their wives, girlfriends and daughters. They didn't want them to find out what really happens to their body when they reach the start of their fifth decade of life. (Yes, when you hit forty, you start the fifth decade if you count the years birth to 10 as decade #1, 11-20 as decade #2...get the picture?) ;)

Why did they want to keep this info from the women in their lives? Simple. They were used to being the alpha males, the one to control if, when and how often they did the deed with their women. There's no way they'd allow their bodies to be used as instruments of pleasure. No no no. It wouldn't do to allow the weaker sex to control what happened in the bedroom. They may end up unlocking their inner freak and we wouldn't want that now would we? hehehehe

I joke about this because I've met women who've actually bought into this crap. They've convinced themselves their once active libido has left the building. Oh don't get me wrong. These females are becoming less interested in the same old sex they've had with their partner for years. They want to feel the curl your toes, full body shuddering, screaming every obscenity in the book pleasure that comes with diving into the sexual unknown.

Why do you think the Fifty Shades books were so popular with "Mommies"? The little bit of taboo in those pages gave them permission to explore their own naughty fantasies and not feel like they're too old to do it. Trying out a little light bondage with silk scarves and ties was enough to restart their engines and show them they could take over in the bedroom if they really wanted to do it. 

Personally, I've never understood it when friends told me they were too tired to have sex or they could do without it all together. Once they turned forty, they found they had a widely accepted excuse at their disposal. They could blame it on their age and their partner would have to accept it.

Right?

WRONG! 

At forty-seven, my hormones may be out of whack, but they sure as heck didn't damper my interest in sex. In fact, I found the opposite is true. I want sex all the time. I've become equal to those twenty-somethings that hump like bunnies 24/7. Not that I get to do that, mind you but if given half a chance I just might! LOL!

So is my reaction the exception to the rule? NOPE. It's perfectly normal and it's time we take back our sexuality and just enjoy it. Why do you think there are so many cougar tales out there? More and more older women are tossing aside the old vanilla routines and going for the younger dudes who can keep up with their need to explore their down and dirty side.

It's time to stop hiding behind the menopause excuse and get your freak on! Tell your partner exactly what you want to explore with them and DO IT!

Until next time my hotties!

~The Fat Chick

The #FatChick Asks: "Who The Heck Turned Up the Heat?" #MyWANA #aging

Welcome back to this week’s edition of Memoirs of the Forty Something Fat Chick. For those of you who’re visiting for the first time, I’m Tammy…The Fat Chick. Each week I share a bit of my journey to get healthy. As an over forty woman, I’ve had to deal with many issues I never dreamed of having to deal with when I was a teenager or in my twenties. What other age group has to deal with bladder control issues, loss of hearing, vision, and hormones raging out of control?

Speaking of hormones, which one of my ancestors pissed off the wrong deity causing me to be cursed with both “Aunt Flo” and hot flashes?  I mean, give me a BREAK! It’s bad enough to have the monthly terror, but to have to suffer with hot flashes too is just beyond cruel.  The political correct term for this “condition” is perimenopause.  To me, it’s the Devil’s Teeter Totter. First you’re hot, then cold. One minute you’re on top of the world, and the next you’re in deep despair. Everything is sunshine and roses, and then it’s all gloom and doom. 

Having had to deal with being teased with menopause for the last TWENTY years…yes, twenty, I’m used to being slammed every month with this chaos, but nothing prepared me for the intensity of the raging inferno that is my body at forty six. I’m a bit scared to find out what’s going to happen when I do actually start full on menopause. At the same time, I look forward to it. I’ll deal with the carrying my own portable fan around as long as “Aunt Flo” is kicked to the curb!

Yesterday, while in full on busy “Dr. Tammy” mode, I was hit with a flash so intense, I nearly blacked out. My skin couldn’t get rid of the heat fast enough and turned a nice cherry red. Lucky for me, the owner of the cute little kittens I was trying to examine recognized what was “attacking” me…besides her fur balls. She’d been through chemo the year before and had suffered from these buggers the entire time. Immediately she grabbed a magazine and started fanning me. Her husband joined in too.  The three of us laughed until I damn near pissed my pants. Gotta love my clients!

Of course it wouldn’t take much laughing to make me lose control of my bladder. Hehehe. That topic has already been covered here in previous weeks so I won’t go into it again today, but it doesn’t mean I won’t talk about it again another time! Bwahahahaha….oh damn it!  Take a moment to talk among yourselves. I’ll be right back. ;)

Now where were we? 

Oh yes, back to the raging furnace that’s awakened in my innards now in my forties. I found a fun video featuring this very subject and it’s the inspiration for the title of my blog post today.  She touches upon all the mess running through my body right now. 

Instead of lamenting the pain in the backside perimenopause has become for me now, I’m going to embrace it and celebrate the roller coaster of hormones zipping through me. What better way to do that then to DANCE!

So there you have it. I have a new dance to help me get through the hot flashes and give me a great cardio workout to boot! 

Speaking of workouts, I’m stepping them up this week. My blood pressure is more under control with my medication and I’m learning exactly what foods I need to eat and in what combinations during the day to help me regulate my diabetes…all without insulin! Now if I can find a fix for that tiny bladder of mine…

Until next week, my fellow flashers!

~Tammy