Welcome to the Memoirs of this Forty Something Fat Chick here at Not Enough Time in the Day. This week I'd like to address the commonly held notion that once a broad hits the big FOUR OH, her sex drive runs for the hills, never to be seen again.
If you believe that bad boy, you're just asking for a smack in the face ala Cher in Moonstruck.
Personally, I think this particular myth was started by a group of men that wanted to keep control of their wives, girlfriends and daughters. They didn't want them to find out what really happens to their body when they reach the start of their fifth decade of life. (Yes, when you hit forty, you start the fifth decade if you count the years birth to 10 as decade #1, 11-20 as decade #2...get the picture?) ;)
Why did they want to keep this info from the women in their lives? Simple. They were used to being the alpha males, the one to control if, when and how often they did the deed with their women. There's no way they'd allow their bodies to be used as instruments of pleasure. No no no. It wouldn't do to allow the weaker sex to control what happened in the bedroom. They may end up unlocking their inner freak and we wouldn't want that now would we? hehehehe
I joke about this because I've met women who've actually bought into this crap. They've convinced themselves their once active libido has left the building. Oh don't get me wrong. These females are becoming less interested in the same old sex they've had with their partner for years. They want to feel the curl your toes, full body shuddering, screaming every obscenity in the book pleasure that comes with diving into the sexual unknown.
Why do you think the Fifty Shades books were so popular with "Mommies"? The little bit of taboo in those pages gave them permission to explore their own naughty fantasies and not feel like they're too old to do it. Trying out a little light bondage with silk scarves and ties was enough to restart their engines and show them they could take over in the bedroom if they really wanted to do it.
Personally, I've never understood it when friends told me they were too tired to have sex or they could do without it all together. Once they turned forty, they found they had a widely accepted excuse at their disposal. They could blame it on their age and their partner would have to accept it.
At forty-seven, my hormones may be out of whack, but they sure as heck didn't damper my interest in sex. In fact, I found the opposite is true. I want sex all the time. I've become equal to those twenty-somethings that hump like bunnies 24/7. Not that I get to do that, mind you but if given half a chance I just might! LOL!
So is my reaction the exception to the rule? NOPE. It's perfectly normal and it's time we take back our sexuality and just enjoy it. Why do you think there are so many cougar tales out there? More and more older women are tossing aside the old vanilla routines and going for the younger dudes who can keep up with their need to explore their down and dirty side.
It's time to stop hiding behind the menopause excuse and get your freak on! Tell your partner exactly what you want to explore with them and DO IT!
Until next time my hotties!
~The Fat Chick