Wake Up Calls and Heartbreak for the #FatChick #cancersucks

Hello all,

It's with a very heavy heart that I write today. An author who inspired me to keep following my dreams with all four of my pen names and continue self publishing with Sassy Vixen, left the world this week.

Brit Blaise (aka Judi Thoman) fought cancer and won the first time it entered her life, but the second time blindsided her. She fought hard and soldiered on during the battle, continuing to write and share the posts of other authors through social media. Finally her body could take no more and she moved on to the next chapter. Now she's free of the pain and never has to battle fucking cancer again.

Sorry. Normally I don't let the swear words fly on this blog but I'm pissed. It's not fair someone can win their battle against breast cancer only to have it thumb it's nose at her and come back with a vengeance. It seems to me there are more than enough people for this nasty group of vicious killers to attack. Why does it have to go for seconds or even thirds?

I know that sounds morbid and that if it wasn't Brit, someone else would be attacked. Well why not some of these evil shits who take great pleasure in causing others grief? Why does Cancer have to bulldoze it's way into the lives of caring, loving, people?

Where is Karma? When someone gives so much back to her peers why did she have to go out this way? Where was her reward for paying it forward and reminding people to live every day as if it could be their last and follow their dreams wherever they may lead? Where is her kudos for going through hell and back the first time?

Losing Brit has brought back so many of the memories and emotions I went through losing my dad in 2005 to Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He braved through EIGHTEEN rounds of chemo and the original tumors continued to grow. He did everything right. He quit smoking nearly thirty years before his diagnosis. He was physically fit, a retired Marine, and worked for the local police department. At the same time he developed his own company and traveled for speaking engagements. He was the last person you would think cancer would strike down...

#fuckcancer

A year after his death, my uncle (Dad's brother) was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. Our family had to go through it all over again, but this time the cancer was knocked back and my uncle is still in remission.


I have had a lump in my breast for several years now. I've had it checked out multiple times and it remains benign. The last mammogram confirmed it too. My doctor has suggested additional testing for myself and my other family members since there is breast cancer and others on both sides of the family. Up until now I've been reluctant to pursue it. With the loss of Brit and several other author friends dealing with various types of cancer, I've changed my mind.

I've finally found my happily ever after with my husband Liam and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss out on any moment of it because I'm too scared to find out the full extent of my health issues. I owe it to him to be tested and more importantly, I owe it to myself not to be cheated out of my life because I waited too long to be diagnosed. I'm setting up my doctor appointments for the coming weeks and taking charge of my life. Enough hiding!

Until next time,

~"The Fat Chick"

Another Bump In the Road for the #FatChick #lifegoeson #amwriting

Welcome to Not Enough Time in the Day and Memoirs of a Forty Something Fat Chick. These posts are meant to detail my journey through finding my way back to a healthy lifestyle and everything else that gets in the way. :)

This week I'm sad to report we're not moving to Washington as soon as we had hoped. Both positions dangled in front of me as sure things have been filled by other candidates. While I'm sad...okay, pissed it all went down this way I have to admit I'm a touch relieved.

Sure I didn't appreciate being informed through an impersonal email of the decision to go with people already in the state instead of waiting for me as they promised they would do, I'm grateful for the additional time to get our affairs in order here. There is so much packing and purging to do before we can leave. I didn't know how we would have done it in less than a month. 

Twenty-one years in the same profession and nearly all of it with the same corporation/group of hospitals across the county should mean more in this day and age. It does mean the world to my fellow coworkers who rallied around me when I opened that fateful email. They were shocked too...maybe more than me. They've been preparing themselves for my departure for the last few months and now this set back is a win for them. 

Even though leaving them would've made them sad, every single one of them were behind me 1000% as long as I was happy. Seeing me upset broke their hearts but the encouragement they expressed that day reinforced my faith in people. Now they're busy trying to ensure I can stay here in California as long as I need in order to get through this bump in the road to Washington. Words cannot express the love I feel for these beautiful people.

My cup runneth over...

Except for the damn summer cold I picked up! bwahahaha!

Take care my friends. I'm off to get some rest from these dripping sinuses.

~The Fat Chick

Looking back on 2011

Washington State coastline

Here it is once again. Another January 1st nearly over and it doesn't seem like a day that stands out. It feels just like any other all things considered. The last week has been a bit of a whirlwind. My love Liam and I traveled to Oak Harbor, Washington for his grandmother's funeral. I couldn't let him go alone and I am so grateful to my coworkers for juggling the schedule a bit so that I could drive up there with him. It's an 18 hour drive in good weather.  You know since I mentioned the weather there had to be some problem, but we only had a bit of rain and high winds slow us a little bit.

I was a bit nervous going up to basically meet a lot of his relatives for the very first time. All of that faded away when we entered the church for the viewing and sharing of stories about their family matriarch. I was immediately taken aback by how much Liam's family was like my own. Both are large clans full of life, love and laughter even in a time of sorrow.  Yes, they missed their loved one dearly, but they were not there to be sad, but to celebrate her life.  That is what my family has always done as well.  I felt like I had always been in that family and had known their grandmother my whole life because of the love that shined through from each and every one of them.  This amazing woman had six children, over 20 grandchildren and over 40 great grand children. Two are still on the way!  Their family continues to be blessed and I for one am so lucky to have been included in their celebration.

At the gatherings after the viewing and again after the funeral, the conversation, laughter and smiles continued full force...and loudly!  I loved every single moment of it!  The conversations all going on at the same time and people actually able to follow them all was again nostalgic for me. I am the oldest of six children. My mother is one of six as well. So picture all of us together, all the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren in one house.  Food, drink and nonstop conversations, discussions, laughter and yes a few tears from a few of the small ones colliding into each other after a bit too much play.  THIS is family to me. THIS overwhelming wonderful group of people who you may not see very much of over the years, but when they are needed, will rally around and be your rock and support when you need it the most.

Being 2500 miles away from my clan has been very hard for me over the last 10 years. Sure, I made the trip home a few times and each time I was rejuvenated and could make it a bit more on my own.  Now having shared this with Liam and his family, I feel whole again.  I know that may sound a bit strange to some of you reading this, but being in the middle of all of the family "chaos" gave me peace.  It also helped me make up my mind that I will make sure I visit my family in Michigan at least once a year and maybe some day in the future Liam can make the trip with me and meet my nutty, fiercely loyal and loving family too.

May the New Year bring each and every one of you laughter, smiles, hope and peace. May you find your inner Beacon and let it shine for all the world to see.  May the next phase of your journey through life bring you closer to your heart's desire...and maybe even help you achieve it!

Blessed be...
Tammy