Monday, January 5, 2015
The #FatChick Gets Real and Removes Her Rose Colored Glasses #MyWANA #IGotThis
Happy New Year and Brightest Blessings for all!
Like many of you, I spent the last days of 2014 evaluating all facets of my life. I didn't like what turned up. The promises and resolutions I made for myself, my health and career have fallen short.
Let me introduce myself to those of you visiting for the first time. Hello, my name is Tammy Dennings Maggy. I'm a 48-year old Fat Chick, veterinarian, ordained minister, multi-published author, poet, and married to the most amazing man in this and any lifetime. I'm a diabetic on a diuretic for my high blood pressure. I have hot flashes, back pain, "tight" with Aunt Flo, and on a first name basis with each of the Seven Witches of Menopause and all of their relatives.
I'm all of those things and can't enjoy the good stuff because I'm miserable in my own body. I'm considered morbidly obese by doctors. Others would try to sugar coat it by calling me "curvy", "more to love", or a fabulous BBW (big beautiful woman).
I'm here to tell you to join me and take off the rose colored glasses. I did. I don't like what I see. I can't walk through the mall without having to sit down because my back hurts more than I'll admit. I'm winded walking up one flight of stairs. I can't get up and down from the floor without grabbing on to a counter to pull myself up. These things are not cute and more to love.
Being obese is not healthy and to me it's not beautiful to suffer through tasks I need to do each and every day. Now before you start yelling at me that I have to first love myself and see how beautiful I am, let me explain to you it's BECAUSE I LOVE MYSELF that I have to make some serious life changes yet again.
No longer will I accept my obesity as a part of my life. It's KILLING ME. It hurts to move, to breathe, to enjoy the things I used to enjoy when I was younger and yet here I sit once again. At my largest I was over 350 pounds. I sure as hell don't want to go back there again but if I don't get this under control, I'll be looking at 300 pounds again before the end of 2015.
I can't do that. Not again. I can't do that to myself nor to my husband. He loves me unconditionally but if I don't step up, I may leave him a widower. That's not something you do to someone you love and least of all not your soul mate.
You may very well be one of those women who accept your body at your current size. I'm not telling you to do anything differently. I don't accept this shell I'm trapped in. I'll always have the curves but right now they're not curves but rolls and globs. In my eyes, I'm not plus sized or a BBW—I'm fat and unhealthy and need to lose another 100 to 125 pounds to be able to call myself a sexy curvy girl again.
As always, this is my journey to get healthy and enjoy the life with which the Goddess has blessed me. I'm looking forward to each new day celebrating the success of my writing/publishing career, my new role as a relief veterinarian, and living life to the fullest.
I GOT THIS!