Balancing Life, Work and Writing Without a Safety Net #authorlife #vetlife

Hello all!

It's been a long time since I visited with you. Life kicked me in the butt and now I'm at a point where I can breathe again...and write! Being able to put words to the page has brought me such happiness. It's hard for me to explain other than I feel like myself again. For the last two years I've been struggling, really struggling to find my way out of the darkness that nearly took my life. I'm happy to be here and ready to keep fighting to stay. Compassion fatigue and depression are debilitating for me and it's taken a hell of a lot of work to get to where I am now.

From December through March, I had to be the primary caretaker for my husband after he was assaulted in front of our apartment complex. Long story short, his right ankle was shattered and required orthopedic surgery. Multiple pins, plates and screws later, he is back to work and I finally have time for myself again. I'm working over 40 hours a week for my normal gig as veterinarian, but that has changed as well. I'm working in a Fear Free practice and that alone has cut my work related stress in half.

I. Kid. You. Not

Being able to say no to an owner who demands we trim the nails of their attack dog without sedation helps. Educating owners about the fear, anxiety and stress their pets feel traveling to and from the vet and being in the veterinary office itself is an amazing experience. About 80 percent of our clients are receptive to all of it from the start. Others take more time. A slim minority of them refuse to believe their pets are stressed or need special help to adjust.

Those are the folks I choose not to worry about any longer. I've done my part and so have my techs to inform them of the way we can help them and their pets have a less stressful visit with us. It's their CHOICE to not take the advice and it's our choice to part ways with them. No longer do we have to bend over backwards to make these few people happy, terrify their pets and injure ourselves in the process. My staff feels empowered to speak up for our patients when their owners are not aware of what is really happening.

Becoming Fear Free Certified has helped me see my own fears, anxieties and stresses in a new light. I am able to recognize when I'm about to derail and put on the breaks. I take time off and ENJOY it now. Once that happened, my muse returned and pestered me to write again. I'm still doing my crafts and reading for pleasure here and there, but since February, I have been working on multiple writing projects. Yesterday I managed to finally get The Island (Now and Forever 2) back out to the retailers. Siren reversed the rights to me in December of last year. At least it didn't take me two years to get it out like it did with the For the Love of Quinn re-release. Now all of my books are released through my publishing house, Sassy Vixen Publishing.

The new project is a joint venture with my friend, Amber Lea Easton. The shared world series is set in Ouray, Colorado during Million Dollar Fire. Little did we know that our series would release at the same time the real wildfires were racing toward Ouray. Freaky but it made our stories all that more realistic. The first five are out now. I have book six due to release in a couple months that deals with the aftermath of the fire and the final battle between the magical realms and the Fire Queen. If you haven't already guessed, my books tend to lean more toward the paranormal genres. I finally realized that is my true calling. So, look for all the magical creatures to show up with all of my pen names.

The compassion fatigue poetry journal has been a hit so now I have plans to release an expanded version of the poetry as an e-book and print (non-journal) format. It will have the original poems included with the journal, plus several more to round out my journey through it all.

from DIYGENIUS
Creative Commons Use

The title of this post reflects how I've felt at times juggling everything I want to do in any given day. As much as people want to say they were there for me all along, I was in too dark of a place to see it. The voices told me I was alone and I would fail no matter what. The voices convinced me the safety net wasn't there even though I could see it. The moment I slowed down and stopped trying to be all things to all people, the voices quieted and the net came into view.

My brain still never shuts off completely. It's always firing off in a hundred different directions. The difference now is that most of those paths are for new stories and scenes for current works in progress. I have started to learn to be able to focus on two or three of them and let the others stand by on vacation if you will. Some are on extended world tours, but they will be back. Then we'll work together to bring another story out to the world. For me, writing and publishing my stories is giving birth to another child. Right now, I'm the mother of twenty-two...yes you read that right...22 books from all of my pen names. It's been one hell of a journey and I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

In that vein, I am working on revamping all of my blogs and websites so if you visit any of them and find them offline, please check back again. I'll have them rolling in no time.

Thank you all for following along with me. Together we'll make it a party!

Until next time,

~Tammy

Taking a Sabbatical of Sorts

Hello all!

I'm facing some pretty hefty deadlines so for the next month, including getting ready for the Caliente Blog Hop hosted by the Four Seduced Muses. I'm participating in it with two of my blogs and on two others as my alter egos Lia Michaels and Stephanie Ryan. I'm also designing new logos, banners and buttons to go with all the blogs, designing the swag I'll take to RomCon in June, finishing up the 3rd and 4th books in the Now and Forever series as well as finishing up the first novels for Lia and Stephanie. One more project is to start soon as well. I'm publishing another book of poetry, but this time it's for one of my dear friends of nearly 30 years. 

Whew!

So for the next three weeks, the WWoW and Furbaby Friday features will be on hold. I'm hoping to get back into the full weekly posts again by May 13th. That's if everything and everyone cooperates with me. We all know how that usually goes, but I'll do my best to meet this self imposed deadline as well.

In the meantime, check out the new features gaining popularity over at Behind Closed Doors, Sassy Vixen Publishing, The House of Taboo, and Through Stephanie's Eyes. If you wish to have a spot on one of those blogs, check out the guidelines and send in a request. We'd love to have you!

See you soon!
~Tammy

#WWoW: I Need A Vacation!

Well, I've finally gone and done it. I don't know whether I'm coming or going nor which "me" is in control at any given time. Besides my "evil day job" as veterinarian Dr. Tammy and her weekly Furbaby Friday feature here, there is poet and erotic romance author Tammy Dennings Maggy (aka The Vixen), erotic romance author Lia Michaels and mainstream fiction and sweet romance author Stephanie Ryan. Between all of us there are four adults only blogs, two all age group blogs, one review site/blog, three..oh wait, four twitter accounts, four Google + accounts with four additional fan pages each, one personal Facebook account, five Facebook Fan pages, three Triberr accounts, one Linkedin, one Pinterest, Goodreads, multiple Facebook groups, yahoo groups, Amazon author pages, and Siren Bookstrand author and book pages.

Did I mention "one" real-life, sleep deprived, barely breathing human to take care of it all AND still find time to work on the various WIPs for three pen names?

I'm not complaining about having the three pen names. I think it's necessary for what genres I wish to write in, but even with setting up all the time-saving techniques I've learned from other authors, I'm still running on empty and wearing myself down. Having had to go through some medical issues over the last few months for myself and my husband, I've found all three of us further and further behind in what "we" wanted to have done at this time.

So what is an exhausted author and veterinarian to do?  Go on VACATION!!!

Okay, let's not get too excited. My hubby came up with the brilliant idea that I have two of my alter egos go on "vacation" for a couple of weeks. During that time, they would be away from their blogs, and all social media. Basically I put them on a sabbatical while one of us gets caught up. Then at the end of the two weeks, I would get to take a break while one of them takes over. This way I could concentrate on one or two projects at a time and have something to publish within the next month.

Did I say it was a brilliant idea? When the hubster suggested it over lunch the other day I just stared at him.   There it was right there in front of me, plain as day. Send two of "me" on vacation! 

I know what many of you are thinking right now. Why bother to have multiple pen names in the first place? Didn't I make all this extra work for myself by creating these alter egos?  I already answered the first question earlier. To me it's extremely important that I keep my non-erotica/erotic romance pen names separate from the two who write the adults only stuff. The extra work comes into play because I learned last year that I wanted to have my pen name known BEFORE a book was released. It took such a long time to build up Tammy Dennings Maggy and  I wanted to give the same attention to Lia and Stephanie.  It's hard enough trying to find your fan base as a new author. If I'm known, and my names are recognized, then more sales will hopefully follow.

Hell, Lia Michaels has built up a huge following already and she has yet to officially publish a single novel. She runs a hell of a fun blog though! The House of Taboo is in demand for guest spots for the Saturday Spotlight Interview feature. Oh and don't get me started on how fast my project with three other fabulous authors has literally exploded overnight.  Four Seduced Muses is run by myself, Maya DeLeina, Nicole Morgan and May Water. All of us write the HAWT erotic romances and have weekly features that discuss anything and everything. Besides ourselves, we've opened the remaining three days of the week to guests. We've been up and running for less than four months now and we are completely booked through April...maybe May by the time this post goes live!

I'm damn proud of all of these accomplishments, but they have come at a price. It's time to circle the wagons and regroup here. I can do it all, but I have to redefine my limits. I also have to remember my "me" time and take time away from writing, blogging, tweeting, networking, reviewing, editing, and publishing. I want to be around to enjoy the success of all three of my pen names and be able to celebrate with friends, family and of course my wonderfully supportive husband, Liam.  Who knows where I would be by the end of next week if he didn't make one simple suggestion.   Here we go!

Make sure you stop in and check out what the other participating authors are talking about this week!

Melinda Dozier

Lacey Wolfe

Paloma Beck

WWoW: Writer's Words of Wisdom is a Smart & Savvy Group of Authors who write a weekly feature for their blog -Writer's Words of Wisdom- each Wednesday. The goal is to impart what we've learned about writing, editing, getting published, book promotion, and more along the way.

And of course we do find humor in all of it along the way...especially when we laugh at ourselves! Come on and join us on our Facebook Page, or if you would like to do a guest spot with me for one of these Wednesdays, just let me now!

#WWoW Don't Forgot "Me" Time!

Tomorrow is the release day for the second book in my Now and Forever series and while I am still doing the happy dance over it, I'm also visiting multiple stops for the blog tour, thinking of what to write about for this post, scheduling guests on my other blogs for this month and the next, getting ready to travel 14 hours north to visit my husband's family for Thanksgiving, working 40+ hours  at my evil day job as a veterinarian and finding precious time to write as myself and as my two other pen names.  All the while I keep thinking I'm forgetting something.

And I am.  Me. 

Through all of this I have forgotten to schedule the most important block of time..."me" time. Without it I'm liable to totally flip out and/or burn out and that will get me absolutely nowhere fast. Last week one of my fellow WWoW participants blogged about not over committing yourself. I'll take it one step further and say don't stretch yourself so thin that you lose yourself in the process.

How did things get so crazy busy so fast? Hell if I know. I didn't intend for all of this to happen at one time, but it is and honestly I'm having a blast with most of it. I do know me. If this continues at this pace, I will burn out and end up pushing the things I love the most aside. I've done it before. It took me two years to write For the Love of Quinn because I was burning the candle at both ends. I don't want to go that long between books again and there really isn't any reason for that to happen...unless I forget to take care of the most important element in the whole equation. Me.

Christmas 2011 (first with my then fiance and now hubby)

I'm more than just the author/poet, veterinarian, newlywed, military wife, smart-assed broad who visits with you all here each week. I love to read and listen to music. Cooking and baking are two of the biggest joys in my life and I love to share the fruits of those labors with others. But what really helps me find myself and become centered for another day are my crafts, specifically knitting and crochet. 

This time of year is a big one for me. I make all sorts of things with my stash of yarns. Not only do I get to make something for another person, I meditate with each and every stitch. My prayer shawls are filled with good vibes and prayers specific for each individual I make it for. The Christmas stockings I've made over the years are made with the happy thoughts of holidays gone by and the promise of more to come. With each motion of the knitting needles or the crochet hook, I move deeper into a trance that allows me to let my mind relax and let go of the chaos of the day.

Last year I made crochet bunnies that were a big hit. I used a pattern from online and tweaked it a bit to create a floppy bunny with a bit of a sleepy or dopey expression. This Winter Solstice and Christmas holidays are seeing an increase in the requests for my knit caps with ear flaps and of course the Christmas stockings.  At first I didn't think I would be able to get the requests done, but by taking that time to relax and enjoy the PROCESS instead of worrying about the deadlines I set for myself, I'm actually ahead of schedule. 

So the next time you start filling in your calender, make sure the very first thing you block off on each day is your "me" time. Don't skimp out on it either. Even if it's only fifteen minutes each day, you need this down time to help rejuvenate and recharge your batteries. Take a page out of the schedule of a cat. Each and every day they're plotting to take over the world and yet they find the time to "chill."  Make sure you do to!

Join Us on Facebook!

Check out the other WWoW Authors

Paloma Beck

Melinda Dozier

Jessicca Collins

November 15th is Release Day!

The Island (Now and Forever 2) is coming out tomorrow from Siren Bookstrand. You can still get your pre-order copy today and at a 10% discount off the list price through November 22nd.