Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The #FatChick Asks: What the Hell Happened to My Glasses and Why's the Print So Small? #MyWANA #ASMSG

Welcome back to my weekly Memoirs of a Forty Something Fat Chick. I'm sure you all can figure out I'm "The Fat Chick," aka Tammy. Each week I'm detailing my journey to better health. Along the way I'm finding the humor in all that comes with being fat, over forty and dealing with medical issues. 

This week's question: When did everyone start using the ultra small fine print?

My body went to hell the instant I turned forty. Not only did my bladder shrink down to the size of a walnut, my vision went from bad to worse. I kid you not. One moment my bi-focals worked just fine and the next I'm struggling to drive looking through the higher magnification part of the lenses. 

And let's not forget about my hearing! I swear it was like someone turned down the volume and lost the remote. The only time I hear well is when I have my stethoscope in my ears and I'm listening to the heart and lungs of my patients.  Looks like a hearing aide is on the horizon for this almost forty-seven year old broad. Yip. Eee. (cue the voice dripping with sarcasm).

If anything else breaks down, I'm going to have to seriously consider retiring earlier than my hubby and I had planned. I mean, what good is a legally blind and deaf veterinarian? If I can't see for shit without the aid of super ultra magnifying lenses crafted by scientists with only the highest security clearance, nor hear without the assistance of listening devices that rival those used by the CIA, what's the point of keeping up the pretense?

Okay so it's not to that point...yet. I've still got enough sass to keep the "kids" at work on their toes. Kudos to me for making them all talk louder by using the tried and true method.  I ignore them until they talk louder. I mean I really can't hear two thirds of what they mumble, so if they want me to respond, they better SPEAK UP! 

My hearing and vision are just two more things I can take care of to make life a bit easier...and for those around me too. Who wants to hear me ask them to repeat what they just said two, three and four times? Now I know how my Dad felt when his hearing started to go on him. I'm sure it was a blessing in a house full of teenagers, but not so much in a crowded room at a family function with everyone talking at once.  Sigh...

Well, on to some fabulous news about my fitness program.  I'm down 13 pounds since I started three weeks ago. I'm checking my blood glucose (sugar) level before and after meals and at bedtime. This started after my first diabetes class last week. What an eye opener!

I learned many of the ailments I've had over the last six months, at least, have all been due to my diabetes. The intensely itchy skin, out of control migraines, dizzy spells, GI issues, debilitating fatigue, all due to high blood sugar.  Carbs are not my friend, but they're not my enemy either. I have to retrain myself on portion control and plan for those special days like birthdays so I can partake in cake for example. There has to be a trade off, just like with everything in life.

I've discovered the wonderful world of low carb versions of my favorite food like the Everything Bagel, flat bread and multi-grain bread, tortilla and milk. Yep. I found a milk product that's higher in protein and half the carbs per serving than skim milk. Whoohoo!

I tried the sugar substitute Truvia. I'm not impressed but willing to keep using it to help me decrease the amount of real sugar I add to things like my tea and some cereals.  

The best thing?  SPAGHETTI SQUASH!  Who knew?  Well, I'm sure all of you knew it, but I was the goofball who never tried it until this last weekend. I made a simple shrimp scampi, balsalmic and scotch mushrooms to go along with the squash. Yummo!

Well, that's all for this week my lovelies. I'll check back in next week to give you more details on the nutty world of this Forty Something Fat Chick.


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